We are a family of seven children plus our parents, from the Western Region. Our lastborn is in secondary school, and four of us have completed tertiary education. One is pursuing a master’s degree, and two are living abroad. We achieved all of this through my mother’s hard work and determination. She single-handedly took care of us through her market trading business.
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We lived in a house built by our parents. While my father was once a wealthy man, he chose not to care for us. Rather, he maltreated us and even laid curses on us at that young age. Sadly, my elder brother is now mentally disabled. I believe it is due to those curses.
My father still spreads false information to outsiders and his family, claiming that he was the one who supported our education, when in reality, my mother bore the entire responsibility. Because of this, his family does not get along with my mother.
I am a nurse and a trader, married for almost three years. We have a toddler and a three-month-old.
From the start of our marriage, my husband was unemployed. I took full responsibility for all financial needs: hospital bills during both pregnancies, baby items, household expenses—everything.
That’s not enough for him. We live in his family’s house with his mother and brother. Whenever I cook, they expect me to share the food with at least three other people in the house.
At one point, I considered moving back to my family home, but she told me that if I left, her son would stop providing for us. What she didn’t know is that at that time, I was still the main provider.
My husband begged me to stay, but refused my suggestion for us to rent our own place.
I own a shop, which I manage alongside my nursing job. I employ an attendant to look after it when I’m at work. After my first maternity leave, I returned to find the shop had accumulated a debt of over 70,000 GHS due to the attendant’s mismanagement. I informed my husband, but he never once followed up to ask whether I had managed to repay the debt.
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By God’s grace, my husband is now employed and earning a good salary. However, he refuses to take full responsibility for the family’s needs. When I told him the amount he gives is not enough, he dismissed my concerns. His belief is that “chop money” is his only duty. Anything beyond that is my bill to handle.
Currently, he gives me 50 GHS a day (about 1,500 GHS monthly) for the household. Occasionally, if I run out of baby diapers, I might get 500 GHS extra, but not always. He often takes money from my bag, with the assurance that he would repay it, but it never happens.
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Despite this, he tells his family he’s the one running the household. So now they believe I am squandering his money.
I am beginning to think I should leave the marriage. It feels like history is repeating itself. Just as my father took credit for my mother’s sacrifices, my husband is taking credit for mine. He does not appreciate me for what I bring to the table. On top of that, he seems jealous of my progress. Do I have a valid reason to leave him?
— Liv
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